Of Teeth And Hips.
Yesterday (Saturday) should have gone like this:
"Hello Mom, how are you feeling after your second fall in a week? Are they treating you alright in hospital?"
"Yes thanks love, thanks for coming up. How was your 180 mile journey up to see me?"
"Very good thanks, OK, take care, see you soon. Bye".
What actually happened:
Last Friday Mom fell over (for the first time) and they took her into hospital for a check up. Whilst there, she was, um, unwell and her bottom set of teeth fell into the bowl and was promptly discarded into the hospital waste unit.
The following conversation occurred with Dept "A" of the PCT1:
"Oh, it's our fault, we'll pay for them."
"So, you'll organise for them to be replaced then?"
"No, that's up to you, we'll only pay for them."
"But she's really distressed that she can't eat properly, I need something sorted"
"Sorry, you need to sort it out."
"How come that's my problem?"
"Because it is."
*click*
I spent the next week ringing up all the dentists in Wolverhampton trying to find someone to do a house call. It was the same story all over:-
"Your Mom has to come in and register before we can do a house call."
"But she's house-bound, how's that going to work?"
"Sorry."
*click*
I eventually found a nice lady at the PCT2 in Dept "B" who said she "would organise everything". I now understand the true meaning of the left-hand not knowing what the right-hand was doing. However, the same nice lady rang me back to say she'd made a house call appointment in 10 days - thanks very much.
Last Thursday night however I got a phone call to say that Mom had fallen again and was back in hospital. Friday morning's conversation went along the lines of:
"She's alright, no surgery required, we'll see what the physio's say and then we'll let her out."
I drove up on the Saturday and arrived at the hospital slightly frazzled as the sat-nav had diverted me up the A5 and through Milton Keynes 'cos the M1 was blocked at Luton.
"Hello Mom, how are you?"
"Who are you?"
"It's your son, how are you?"
"Who are you really?"
I had a quick word with the sister on the ward.
"Mom's not too bright and a bit confused"
"That's not unusual after a major hip operation."
"Yes, but that was last Christmas, surely she would be over it by now?"
"No, we replaced her hip on Friday, the repair we did last year must have given way somehow, so we've done a half-hip operation.3"
"Um, you didn't tell me."
"Did you ring in?"
"No"
"That's why then."
I went back in the ward armed with this relevant piece of information.
I found Mom laughing uncontrollably at the woman in the bed next to her - something to do with Nurses and Football.
"Yes?"
"But you lost them, last week!"
"Did I?"
"Yes, where did you get them?"
"At Dr Shaw's on the Tettenhall Road."
"Um, in 1950?"
"Yes that's right."
"No, no, you lost them last week, who found them?"
"Did I?"
"No look, are they actually your teeth?"
"No."
"What!"
"No, I had them all taken out by Dr Shaw in 1950 and I couldn't eat my dinner and my neighbour came in and she said..."
"No, look, you lost them and now you've found them"
"Did I?"
"Bye Mom."
"Who are you?"
I have absolutely no idea how the teeth were found. Probably never will.
1Primary Care Trust - Wolverhampton 01902 444888
2Yes, the same one.
3Whatever that is, and it also explains why she didn't recognise me. Apparently the anaesthetic they use on old folks makes the eyes go funny for a few days.
"Hello Mom, how are you feeling after your second fall in a week? Are they treating you alright in hospital?"
"Yes thanks love, thanks for coming up. How was your 180 mile journey up to see me?"
"Very good thanks, OK, take care, see you soon. Bye".
What actually happened:
Last Friday Mom fell over (for the first time) and they took her into hospital for a check up. Whilst there, she was, um, unwell and her bottom set of teeth fell into the bowl and was promptly discarded into the hospital waste unit.
The following conversation occurred with Dept "A" of the PCT1:
"Oh, it's our fault, we'll pay for them."
"So, you'll organise for them to be replaced then?"
"No, that's up to you, we'll only pay for them."
"But she's really distressed that she can't eat properly, I need something sorted"
"Sorry, you need to sort it out."
"How come that's my problem?"
"Because it is."
*click*
I spent the next week ringing up all the dentists in Wolverhampton trying to find someone to do a house call. It was the same story all over:-
"Your Mom has to come in and register before we can do a house call."
"But she's house-bound, how's that going to work?"
"Sorry."
*click*
I eventually found a nice lady at the PCT2 in Dept "B" who said she "would organise everything". I now understand the true meaning of the left-hand not knowing what the right-hand was doing. However, the same nice lady rang me back to say she'd made a house call appointment in 10 days - thanks very much.
Last Thursday night however I got a phone call to say that Mom had fallen again and was back in hospital. Friday morning's conversation went along the lines of:
"She's alright, no surgery required, we'll see what the physio's say and then we'll let her out."
I drove up on the Saturday and arrived at the hospital slightly frazzled as the sat-nav had diverted me up the A5 and through Milton Keynes 'cos the M1 was blocked at Luton.
"Hello Mom, how are you?"
"Who are you?"
"It's your son, how are you?"
"Who are you really?"
I had a quick word with the sister on the ward.
"Mom's not too bright and a bit confused"
"That's not unusual after a major hip operation."
"Yes, but that was last Christmas, surely she would be over it by now?"
"No, we replaced her hip on Friday, the repair we did last year must have given way somehow, so we've done a half-hip operation.3"
"Um, you didn't tell me."
"Did you ring in?"
"No"
"That's why then."
I went back in the ward armed with this relevant piece of information.
I found Mom laughing uncontrollably at the woman in the bed next to her - something to do with Nurses and Football.
"Yes?"
"But you lost them, last week!"
"Did I?"
"Yes, where did you get them?"
"At Dr Shaw's on the Tettenhall Road."
"Um, in 1950?"
"Yes that's right."
"No, no, you lost them last week, who found them?"
"Did I?"
"No look, are they actually your teeth?"
"No."
"What!"
"No, I had them all taken out by Dr Shaw in 1950 and I couldn't eat my dinner and my neighbour came in and she said..."
"No, look, you lost them and now you've found them"
"Did I?"
"Bye Mom."
"Who are you?"
I have absolutely no idea how the teeth were found. Probably never will.
1Primary Care Trust - Wolverhampton 01902 444888
2Yes, the same one.
3Whatever that is, and it also explains why she didn't recognise me. Apparently the anaesthetic they use on old folks makes the eyes go funny for a few days.
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