50+ and proud of it.

I just received an email from some unknown person from "Group", headed "Training Plans". As mentioned earlier, we've just been undergoing "restructuring" and this appears to be part of the Master Plan. There were about 40 people in the "To" list. My work colleague was first on the list and I was the second - and it's not in alphabetical order. After a few seconds thought, I sent the following note to him that simply said: "Scary that we're first on the list..." A few moments later I got the reply: "I was thinking that! Does that mean we are the thickest?"

I was trying to explain to someone at work the other day about something or other and went to an early entry in my blog 1 to prove a point. I noticed that a lot of the images in various blog entries had disappeared 2 , so I selflessly re-read all my blog entries to edit in the missing pictures again. It was then I noticed that my writing style had changed over the years, and more worryingly, I couldn't remember half the reasons why I had made the entry in the first place. This led me onto another "ah ha" moment - if I couldn't work out why then anyone else had absolutely no chance whatsoever! Fr'instance: National, Trust Wife With Camera (4,6) , I spent a while working out what I meant by this (like all of yesterday), I now realise (today) it was simply an annoyance to people who do crosswords and there's no answer... and Thanks Dad. I missed two important bits: Dad's been dead since May 2002 and someone said "go left"... Anyway, I decided not

I had a voice mail this morning from "yesterday". "You Mum's had fall but she's OK. Please ring 0161.... By the way we left a voice mail on your home phone." *ring* *ring* "Hello, Social Services here, your Mom's just fine, just a small bruise on her back and we think she has a UDI." "Hello, this is me here, I'm glad Mom's Ok, you never left a message, and, how the hell did she get a UDI?" "Oh, old folks get them all the time! Don't worry too muc h." I paused for bit. 'Old folks get them a lot'? Jeez. I got into work this morning. My work colleague was going though her phone messages and was visibly shaken. "You OK?" "Not to start with. I then realised that one message was for you. My mom died when I was 14, so I wondered how she ' had hurt her back, but was OK now '" Ah, so my home phone number is actually my colleague's work number (not even my work number). Never mind. I

This was going to be entitled "My Worst Christmas Holiday" but it wasn't quite that bad. I'm back at work tomorrow and I feel that I need another week... Friday 23 rd : Son's 106 fails MOT on washer bottle not working. Spend 20 minutes removing it from wheel arch: 15 minutes of which spent getting out (intact) one of those stupid black push-in clips that hold the wheel arch liner in. 3 minutes chiseling off the other four in frustration, and 1 minute getting out the pump. Spend 1 minute picking up the broken bits of the other clips off the floor. Do a 45 minute round trip getting exactly the correct pump from a local motor factor. No one in town has anything like the clips. I resolve to go to the Peugeot dealer in the county town 12 miles away. I just hit the one-way system and find Maidstone is completely grid-locked. I spend 45 minutes getting half a mile to the nearest car park. Spend £8 on the clips and spend 45 minutes getting out of town to the wrong side