50+ and proud of it.

Back to why this blog started off. Having agreed a price, I get a letter from my solicitor regarding the sale of the bungalow. This is in the form of a "tick box" style questionnaire, in two sections. The first part is asking you very interesting questions about boundaries, disputes, access and the like. Of course, if you've never lived there and are "executing" the property the chances are that you don't know any of the answers. So, here's the piece of advice on this one: When asked to be an executor make sure you ask the person, before they err, 'depart', about such things as "who owns the fence at the back?", "is it a shared driveway?", "Has the neighbour got access to paint his fence?". Probably a good idea to go to the solicitor and have a look at the form and discuss it. The second part is about the sale of the house. Which is basically "What are you leaving?", "What are you taking?" and, s

1 There 750,000 hedgehogs in Britain. Well, no. There are 750,00 3 hedgehogs in Britain. The other 3 are alive and well in my garden. We always knew the adult (now known as Gertrude, thanks to my daughter) was there. She would come out at dusk and do her normal patrol around the garden and then disappear off out of the gate. However, the other day we heard a squeaking sound. "Oh for heaven's sake. The budgie-woman-next-door has let the dog out and it's playing with that damn plastic bone again". A few minutes of investigation later... "Ah. That'll be a baby hedgehog then crying for its mum." It had fallen out of the flower bed and couldn't get back up. "Let's feed it some cat food and put it back in the nest" says the wife. "You can't do that, because it'll tell its friends and we'll have 750,000 hedgehogs lined up outside the door in a threatening manner all demanding cat food. Not only that, we'll have Bill Oddie

Ellen went for her second lot of chemo yesterday at Maidstone Hospital. "Hello, I'm here" "Err, we haven't got any beds, go away" "What about this empty pump attached to me?" They took it out and sent her home. Shakes head in disbelief.

You couldn't make this up:- 'The letters dropped on to the mat with that all to familiar thud. Excitedly he opened up the letter marked 'Urgent'. He read the large red letters with dismay: '...We are going to break into your house, with Police presence and cut you off. We have charged you £10. We will charge you £230 to fit a pre-pay meter. We will charge you £30 for the visit'... ' Oh good(!). So the 40 minute calls to Miss a, b and bloody c did a lot of good then. I called Saturn again and spoke to Miss AlphaCenturi. "Hello, now I'm really cross. Are you lot really stupid or do you get trained in it? If you break into my house I'll sue you for criminal damage." To be fair, she kept very calm. I guess she's done this before. "Don't worry, we're changing to a new system, it hasn't caught up yet" "So when my double-glazed front door is lying on the mat in a thousand pieces it'll be 'ok' because '

..."Better a quack than a Ducky!" From that marvellous episode with "Bob". Anyway, there I was sitting in a hospital bed on the hottest day (19th July) of "all time" (at least since July 1911) and the nurse comes in to ask me to "get ready" for the "procedure". "Take all your clothes off and put on this gown. You can leave you pants on, we don't need to fiddle with those bits!" The whole thing is kinda stressful, 'cos you don't know what they're going to find. The episode was lightened somewhat by the Sister/Anaesthetist double-act who were making everyone smile with their genuine wit - sadly "this sedation has an amnesia effect" and I can't remember much - so no change there then. All I do remember is thinking "Gad, My life is in the hands of Laurel and Hardy . After it was all over, the Doc tells me that he can't find anything wrong with my throat & stomach and needs to do a CT Scan

Why a second part you ask? I've had an on-going, err, conversation with British Gas (or Miss Bash as my Dad once said when they rang him up once - he was a bit mutton was my Dad). It all started with a bill for the Bungalow Gas for Quarter One of £200 based on an estimated reading. This I paid 'cos "It'll all get sorted out when you give us an accurate reading". "Hello, here's my accurate reading" Letter: "You owe us £160 for Quarter Two based on an estimated reading" Now, before I go on, remember that ringing up Miss Bash is like having a conversation with someone who is currently in orbit around Saturn. There's a 20 - 30 minute delay each time you ring 'em up and wait in the "queue" listening to good advice like "Please light the gas once you turn it on", and "Please don't stick your head in the oven" (I know why they add that one). Not to mention the time(s) that the damn battery in the phone fai

Well, after a certain amount of to-ing & fro-ing, the Estate Agent and I have agreed that the asking price of £199k for the bungalow is "about right". The current market situation is that houses are selling for about 5-10% below the asking price, which in my case would be £179k - £189k, so I've accepted a price of £187k. Remember the "Estate Agent Fee" scam? Well, having now spoken to someone sensible, we've agreed a fee of 2¼% of the selling price - which is high, but not too ridiculous. Now this is "plus VAT" as well. And, there's the solicitor's fee of about £800 to pay as well - this is for them doing nothing you understand. Note too, that this is all subject to survey and there's "many a slip 'twixt cup and lip". So, smile, but don't hold your breath (yet).

Hmm. Need this post to get things up to date. Ellen is responding to her first lot of chemo - which is brilliant news. There is of course a long journey ahead of her. We'll be there. Son #1. Right. He lost his job. "Ok, employees, if you're sick you must ring in yourself and not get someone else to do it". He went sick. "'Ere, my workmate, please tell 'em I'm sick". "You've lost your job". "Eh. Why?". The Mustang is in for a small repair and I'm driving the old AX which was MOT'd in March. It has no front tyres, the pads are on the backing and the driveshafts are shagged. Who drove it last? Son #1. That's his lot. If anyone remembers "The Jazz Singer" (with Neil Diamond, not Al Jolson) then you'll know what I mean. E7even demise. So far, (sle)eezyDSL have been OK. Got my website back and normal service has been resumed it would appear. I went for a hospital to see why I have a mysterious pain unde

B*ll*x. My air conditioning compressor on the Mustang has just gone t/u on Sunday whilst sitting in a jam on the M25. "Anybody it got a spare compressor, hands up please!" ... "Ok, hands up in the air " ... "Ok, hands up if anyone in England has got a compressor" Dramatic pause as the tumbleweed gently rolls across the scenery and the wind whistles softly over the fields. "Hello Mr Ford dealer, can you cross-reference the base part number please?" "I'll give it a go" "Oh look, it comes up with 12 pages, Modeo, Ka, Fiesta..." "Yeah, but they're not the same" "Eh?" Answers on a postcard.

After her first course of chemo last week, Ellen has reported that some of the lumps on her body have reduced in size. This is a small, but encouraging, development. Also, nice to report that her family have all rallied round and there's often someone from her family around giving support and help to her and her husband.

Now here's what happened. My son gets a job and manages to pay for his insurance of his AX GT. "What are you going to do with the red AX?" "You can have it" Ok, my daughter is going to start driving soon so I pass the car onto her. "Can I have the keys to move it round so I can Hoover it out?" "Err, no, you've no license or insurance, I'll do it in 5 minutes after Doctor Who has finished." ...4 minutes and 50 seconds pass... "Help! Come quick, Mum has crashed the car into the fence post 1 !" "Is the post OK?" "Yes" "Have a nice day" "It's that car - it's rubbish..." Now, I for one, get into a strange car and check the pedal positions, brake effort and steering before moving off - don't you? Now I know where he gets it from. 1 This was the concrete post that I replaced at great effort after breaking it a year ago by reversing the Espace into it. Strangely enough, the post sn

So, this guy eventually comes in with a ridiculous offer of £182k (asking £199k) and won't increase the offer. So you're not going to get it then, are you? Quote E/E: "So we'll carry on marketing the property" "What, you mean you stopped?"

So, my ISP has just gone out of business. To continue I was "forced" (by re-direction) to sign up to someone masquerading under the Tiscali banner - EzeeDSL