50+ and proud of it.

Back to executing: I think I mentioned Council Tax already, but water rates must be dealt with too! Nasty shock to have a bill land on the mat for several hundred pounds. If the property is empty, then they can cut the water off and you won't pay a penny. If you do get the water turned off make sure that the heating system doesn't require water. I left the heating on low to prevent the house freezing over the winter - it's hot air only so no bother. You soon find out stuff like this when the financial year ends around March/April. I wonder if anything else will turn up? Also, for the benefit of the neighbours and potential buyers, I found a gardener to keep the exterior of the property tidy. "Hi, can you cut the grass please?" "How often?" "When small dogs get lost in it."

Did you know that brake linings come off the metal backing if the car's been stood in a field for 8 months with the handbrake on? No? You do now. Fortunately, my son was driving quite slowly when the back offside brake locked up solid on the AX. Another question: How do you get the brake drum off when it is actually locked solid? Answer: By ingenious use of a 30 year old Matchless motorcyle clutch puller bolted on using the wheel studs. And today's star question: How do you manage to get away with spending your 23rd wedding aniversary under a car? See above.

Jeez, teenage sons. Having had some twat reverse into him on a roundabout and total the front, coupled with a blown heater matrix, we decided it was cheaper to buy another AX than repair the old one. Ok, go on eBay (again) and win a nice 1996 AX. Trouble was it was 298 miles away in the north of Blighty. Now when you a have a plan, you stick to it, don't you? So plan is to drive up to Durham at 2:00am and get there for about 8:00am so that we can fix anything and drive back by 5:00pm so son can go to work. I didn't bank on the daughter having *serious* pains in the stomach which required an ambulance at midnight Thursday. "My stomach hurts" ...stalling tactics, including "...take an aspirin", 45 minutes later, "OK, I'll call an ambulance" Nurse: "Your vital signs are just tickety-boo. Take a seat and wait" ...time passes 'till 4:00am. Nurse: "You're next" "Oh, I feel fine now" Get home to sleep at about 5:1

Having gone into raptures previously about scooping an Ermscher Astra I now find that the only "Ermscher" bit about it is the badge on the back - about £3 off eBay. Oh well. "Hi Mr Garageman, can you adjust my headlights please?" "Oh that's a nice Astra - that's worth about £3,903 with the badge according to Parkers. How much did you pay?" "...about £3,900." "That's good then."

So that's it then. I've flogged the Rover for £215 (a bargain) to a bloke on eBay. I've bought a "new" Astra to replace it for a hell of a lot more! Not impressed travelling to Derby to pick it up - 4 separate train journeys and 7 hours. Well, it serves me right for not reading the ticket - if it says your seat is reserved at 12:00 then don't expect to get the 10 o'clock train! No wonder the underground ticket wouldn't let me through the barriers at 09:30. BTW: If you're prone to sea-sickness then the Midland Mainline is NOT for you... Very impressed though. When I get there I find it's the Irmscher variant AND it had a new engine at 31,000 miles - neither of which was mentioned in the auction. Where I picked it up from was near a station north of Derby called Duffield. It has two slabs of concrete laughingly referred to as a platform; and a bridge - the end of which drops you into an MOT station. "Where's the waiting room?" "

Ok, here's a question. What happens if you lose water from an engine and then top it up? Answer: You have clean(ish) water in the system. Fair enough, except that if you then leave it overnight at -2 °C it has the potential to freeze because you've forgotten to add any anti-freeze. I think I got away with it - major panic tho' because someone has already bid over the reserve for it on eBay. "Hello, I've come to pick up the Rover I won on eBay. What's this all over the floor?" "That'll be the engine."