50+ and proud of it.

I was helping 1 my 95 year old mother to fill out the online census form when we came across this question: "Have you ever worked?" The answer is of course "yes", Mom worked as a wages clerk and left for good in 1950. We entered 1950 - here's how the form reacted: ...and refused to allow me to submit the form. What do you do? Keep incrementing the year until it works? What's worse - inaccurate data or no data? What a cock-up. Who programmed this? Aren't people supposed to live this long? I ticked "No". 1 Ok, I was filling it out for her. She's 95 for goodness sake!

It's very difficult to describe the Grand Canyon without referring to the Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy's Total_Perspective_Vortex , so I won't. It is however, very big, very big indeed. Enormous. Huge. We flew out in a Dornier 228... ...met Chuck the Coach Driver and Mr Yamamoto, the Japanese translator (don't ask) and then simply marvelled at the jaw-dropping beauty of it all. The pictures simply don't do it justice... Oh alright then...

As well as the Grand Canyon, one of the highlights of my visit to Las Vegas was a trip to 2900, East Tropicana Avenue, Las Vegas, NV 89121 - otherwise known as "The Gun Store". Expensive, but well worth it IMO. Where else can us Brits get near anything remotely dangerous without going on a week's Health & Safety training course? All the instructors, employees and the cleaner were all "packing heat" and the safety briefing was quite simple: "Point it that way or you're dead." "Posed by model" I fired an AK47 (aka Avtomat Kalashnikova), an IMI Desert Eagle and a Magnum .44 (yes, à la Dirty Harry) I still have "nosseW dna htimS" bruised into my palms. "Not posed by mode l " Epilogue: WW also had a "go", firing the "Ladies Package", which consisted of an AK47 and a Glock. The instructors were brilliant and kindly dismantled the safe end of the range so she could fire in safety whilst sitting in he

My first grandchild - a boy - was born last night 1st March 2011 at 21:05, weighing in at 8lb 13oz. You can Google for that in mectrickery if you want, I'm old school. Mother and son are just fine. I haven't seem him yet, but my wife went to the hospital very soon after he was born. "He's absolutely gorgeous" she said, "he's got a lovely round face and big hands and feet!" "So, we have a Hobbit as a grandson then?" I slept downstairs.