50+ and proud of it.

Ellen had her first lot of chemo on Wednesday. And, not surprisingly, is feeling extrememly rough. Her husband is being pretty negative all-in-all. Statements like "So, this is it, she's going to die 1 " were heard. It was up to my wife to go over and sit with her last night, and try to convince said husband that they wouldn't spend the money on therapy if they didn't think it was going to work. Whether or not that is the case, I have no idea, but it seemed to work and he perked up somewhat. We can only wait, watch and pray. 1 Normally, I delight in (mis)quoting The Hitch Hiker's Guide, but not in this case.

Now, by law, Estate Agents have to pass on any offer. "Hello, the chap who came to see your bungalow on Wednesday has made an offer! What do you think about that?" "Look, cut the crap, just get on with it" "He put in an offer of £175k" "So this is the bloke who's desperate to find somewhere because he's sold his house?" "Yes" "...and my bungalow is in perfect condition?" "Yes" "...and it's full of G-Plan and Schreiber furniture?" "Yes" "That'll be a 'No' then."

Well, the silence from yesterday's supposed viewing is deafening. However, she rang me up this morning with some old twadlle about the World Cup causing the housing market to slow down and they were running a "promotion" in the office and were asking all sellers if they minded reducing their prices by 7% ! What?! Are you mad? Sorry, a "promotion" is something run by a company to flog their product, not something that seems a good idea but won't actually cost them a bean. I suppose the fee charged by them won't reduce by 7% as well will it?

I had a phone call from the Estate Agents yesterday. 'parently, some bloke is coming to see it for the second time tomorrow and is "very interested". Ok, heard that before, but this seems different this time. He has just sold his house and needs to buy another fairly pronto. He is only interested because the price has come down to a more reasonable level. I've also indicated that any buyer can have all the furniture and so on that's in the house. Why didn't they just get it right in the first place? Watch this space...

So here I am, sitting alone on a Friday afternoon in the Rabbit Hutch - sorry Testing Hut. For the past month I've been testing a new European-wide order/manufacturing (MRP? possibly) system in a team of about 20 people from all over Europe. It's based on SAP but with bits added to link up to a specialised planning system and into the factory manufacturing systems. For the past month I've been a great critic of the way it works, the way it's been planned, the way integration/testing/acceptance has been done. "We can't possibly go live with all the faults" I've been saying, "It's not stable enough", "there's been too much 'fudging' going on" & etc ad nauseam. Ok, to be honest, these have been my private views and I haven't actually put my head over the parapet - I've just got on with what I've been asked to do. Anyway, today at the "wrap-up" after Acceptance Testing, the Project Manager asked

I'm not normally vindictive - but I hope someone gets sacked for this. Ellen caught a chest infection and called "the doctor" (no caps, that's far too nice) and she (MD) asked: "Are you allergic to anything?" "Yes, I get a violent reaction to penicillin" "Ok, take these then" Fortunately her sister was on the ball and took a look at the spray thing she'd just been given - Amoxicillin (take a look at http://www.drugs.com/amoxicillin.html) Next day Ellen was throwing up the pain relief tablets that she had got from the Hospice nurse and asked for a prescription that could help. The nurse said she would get the doctor to sign a prescription. "It'll be at the doctors in a few hours" (ring ring) "Hello, is my prescription ready?" "Who are you then?" Funnily enough, not the Hospice Nurses fault. This "doctor" needs nailing to a tree.

To try to explain what today was about would take several pages of A4. So, suffice to say "Never, ever work with the Finnish." These guys communicate with telepathy (have you ever listened to an interview with Mika Hakkinen?) "Well Mika, you won. Tell us about the race" "Yes, wewentfastandcameinfirst" The Finnish contingent go mad knowing exactly how the race panned out, what nuances were used in the strategy and precisely what he is going to have for tea tonight. Obviously, I was to know that they were using a different messaging system to the one I had programmed and how dare I suggest that my protocols had in fact been agreed in writing by all participants not some 4 years ago. Now, I don't speak Finnish, so technical English is probably a bit difficult for non-native English, but I reckon "Use papiNET version 1.1" isn't that difficult. Tomorrow I think I'll try:- "Dontbloodywelleditthedefinitionfile"

(Ring)(Ring)(Ring) "Hello?" "Someone has viewed your bungalow and is very interested in it" "Oh good(!)" "But they're having trouble with finances and can only raise £170k, what shall I tell them?" "Are you serious?" "Oh yes, we have to tell you about every offer" "Even the most ridiculous ones?" "Yes, it's in the Estate Agents Act 1979" "Is that the same act that says 'you must be open and honest with your client'?" "Ah." (Click, burrrr...)

I now found out that Ellen (my neighbour) has at least 4 secondary cancers. Not that this helps at all but she went to the doctors last October with reflux (acid indigestion) and they kept saying "just keep taking antacid tablets" even though she eventually couldn't eat. "But what about this lump on my neck?" "It'a a virus, don't worry about it" (no, really) It was the local nurse who, having seen her for the first time, went harpic and made the doctors do a blood test and spotted the primary oesophageal tumour. Sadly, she's got worse over the last week.

I was attempting to get my teenage daughter to start her own blog as her English language and imagination are pretty good. "Why don't you start a blog?" "Because all my friends have one and mine would simply be clones of theirs." "Ah. What did you say you wanted to be when you grew up? "A management consultant" BTW: My eldest son has now spent a fortnight in his new job...

OMG. I've just found out that my neigbour and best friend has cancer.