50+ and proud of it.

Oh 'eck. I left IBM on Friday to join the company 'next door'. So, let's get this straight - I was working for a place that contracted IBM to provide the software services. This company sold out to "them next door" who will take over the entire site in November (long story - but IBM probably won't be there after that). I go for an interview and get the job - and more money. My new boss agrees to lend me back to the original firm (not IBM) to do the same job and sitting at the same desk. Someone somewhere knows what they're doing.

You have to get a mental picture for this one. We'd been invited to a "longest day party" at an Aunt-In-Law's and my wife had been asked to make a dessert. She made a hazlenut meringue with whipped cream and part-melted chocolate on the top. This part-solid, gooey mass is carefully placed in a (long) Tupperware container. "Go and put that carefully in the car and I'll lock up the house" Can you see where this is going? I opened the boot 1 of the smart Roadster with the radio-key in one hand and the sweet in the other. Have you ever held a pack of brand new playing cards and squeezed gently? The result is something out of Alice In Wonderland (no, the original, not that version) where all the cards fly in the air and land all over Alice. Now picture that, substituting the cards for the Tupperware box, the meringue and the boot carpet. How do you get meringue and chocolate sauce out of black carpets, boot locks, number plates, exhausts, shirts...? 1 UK=b

Well, not quite as I shall explain. The wet suit thing came about because I foolishly said "yeah, I'll help you crew your catamaran sometime" to a friend of mine. That time came last weekend and I found out that it was a 2 day event of six races off the coast of the Isle of Sheppey for Dart 18's and not a gentle trip across the bay as I'd been led to believe. Saturday was fine. Light winds (or "airs" as it's known in the trade) and lovely sunshine. I asked my friend what his plan was for the day. "I'd be happy to come last, I enjoy sailing" Mine was not to drown. We came 17th overall (out of 34) and in the second race came 10th. Not bad for an amateur. Sunday however, was different. At the start of the first race (in fact in all races - apparently) we're all milling around the start line with various people shouting "up!, UP!, UP!" and "no water!, NO WATER!" - which is sailing speak for "fuck off, you'r

Oops. I didn't fit the oil filler cap correctly. That's the view of the garage. They spent Friday "looking" at it and even drove it about 30 miles and absolutely nothing came out of it. My view is that the oil pixies got into the engine. We have no idea what's gone on here.

Ah. There I was minding my own business driving back in my smart Roadster from having a wet-suit fitted (more on this later I suspect) when I felt sick. You do the usual things - blame the car in front, blame the farmers, blame the Government. However, this smell just didn't go away. I got home to find that the turbo oil feed pipe 1 had fractured and dumped about ½pt of Mobil One all over the engine and exhaust. The next morning 2 I found a patch of oil about 1ft diameter that had simply come off the engine whilst standing overnight. "Hello garage, please come and get my car that's under guarantee." "Oh no sir, we're the largest Mazda dealer in Maidstone and we don't have a car transporter. You'll have to get it to us yourself. Here's a number of someone local, he'll only charge you an arm, you can keep your leg." >click< "Hello RAC, please take my car from home to Maidstone." "No problem sir." >click<

After realising that I've got about 100 email addresses due to various ISP changes and the like, my latest move to BT (which gave me another two...) prompted me to bite the bullet and purchase a domain name. Now I have just the one. I wonder if you can guess what it is?

I'm still a member of an American Car Club (who have always allowed non-Yanks) and we did the "Great Bucket And Spade Run" yesterday. Much to the annoyance of the organisers, I insisted on parking my smart Roadster alongside my friend's vehicles (well, they did have the awning and the chairs). My wife was always sceptical about turning up at an American Car Club meeting without the Mustang. Within 5 minutes of parking I was deeply engaged with two members of the public about the size/fuel economy/bad backs and steaks (one was an ex-butcher, hence steaks and back backs). This pattern continued throughout the day. Many visitors (and photographs) later, my wife casually remarked "Y'know, I never thought there'd be some much interest in it!" I knew that. Pleased? Yup.