CT Scan (Cat & Lab test)

Now something they don't tell you about until you're committed for the CT scan (i.e. lying there with your head in a big whirly pencil sharpener thing is that they will inject some "dye" into your arm. This is after you've spent the last hour drinking a litre of some muck that tastes remarkably like Pernod or Ricard (and, no, after the second glass you really are fed up with it).

Ok, maybe you don't mind a cannula in your arm 'cos it really doesn't hurt if they get it right, but then they drop in that you may get a strange warm feeling "all over".

"Ok, carry on then" (as if I actually had a choice by then).
"Just a small scratch" (again old joke about when I went to the Vets - sorry clinic - so have some important bits "snipped")

"Oooh, that is a strange feeling..." And then the best bit...

"You might feel as if you've wet yourself" and then they rush off behind a bullet-proof screen before you have a chance to kill them.

Anyway, the results from all the tests were, well, unremarkable. The only thing they found on the CT scan were some very small (2mm) 'nodes' in the stomach that they will check again in about 4 months. Now, on the grounds that I have all the symptoms associated with advanced gastric carcinoma, and the fact that they found nothing says to me that I really should get on with my life and stop panicking.

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