Heron: 9 Goldfish: 1

Over the course of the winter we, like most other people, had very cold weather. Also, as a result of the previous heron debacle, I'd fashioned a crude temporary wire mesh cover for the pond. I also know for a fact that if you leave on the "water feature" (aka cheap filter from Argos) then the pond surface does not freeze, thereby not suffocating the fish below - which I no longer have.

When I fitted (i.e. threw on top) the mesh I took one last look and saw no fish, not one. "Have you counted them?", "Yes, twice".

I retired hurt, working out if the penalties for budgiecide was applicable to herons and resigned to restarting the pond in the spring.

About a week later I heard an odd noise from the pond. The water flowing from the fountain was landing on the mesh and promptly freezing - forming a spectacular ice carving all the way to the pond edge and the excess running off into the garden.


The result being that the pond had nearly emptied and the filter, now in fresh air, was gasping for, well, water.

And there, at the bottom with it's dorsal fin just poking out of the surface, was a goldfish.

Ok. Now's the time to panic. Rush over to garden hose pipe, frozen; rush over to greenhouse water butt; frozen too. Only alternative now was to take the kitchen washing up bowl and to fill up the pond two gallons (9 litres in new money) at a time. By the time I'd finished about 30 trips, I was soaking wet, the kitchen was soaking wet and the lawn was looking like the Somme (after the battle).


The pond was still only half-filled and the bloody goldfish was still at the bottom wondering what the hell was going on.

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