Never Run With A Pair Of Scissors

(ring, ring, ring)
"Hello"
"Hello, it's me1! I just stabbed myself in the foot with a pair of hairdressing scissors!"
"Umm, what did you want to go and do that for?"
"Never mind why, shall I go and get a tetanus jab?"
"Dunno, ring up NHS Direct and ask them"
"Are you kidding, they'll just says 'Yes' to be on the safe side, and I've got better things to so than to wait hours on the phone waiting for someone to answer"
"Your choice, it's your foot that's bleeding - why don't you ring up the local hospital 2and ask them instead?"
"Good idea. What shall I tell them?"
"You could say that you decided that the stress of the Festive Season3 has become too great and you decided to end it all by stabbing yourself in the foot - just in case you changed your mind later."

"That's not helpful"

1The Wife.
2Minor Injuries Unit only...
3Can't say "Christmas" anymore, might upset someone.

"No scissors were harmed during the making of this blog"

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