One out of Four ain't bad.

Ar*e. On Friday evening I went to get up and my knee gave way. Not in the "oh, I'll just sway a bit" way, but, "F**k, that hurts like hell and I can't walk now" way. I somehow managed to hop upstairs to bed.

 It kept me up most of the night with the pain.

 I went to the hospital (minor injuries) the next morning. "Sorry, it's not swollen/broken/cut/bruised or generally anything we can fix. Here's a pair of crutches. Bye"

 I limped around like The Karate Kid doing that stork impression for most of the weekend.

 The doctor on Monday was more helpful. "You've pulled a tendon (or something), there's nothing we can do. Just rest it for three weeks."

 I then mentioned the magic words - "Private Health care". "Oooh, go and see a physiotherapist, but they probably won't be able to do anything..."

 I went to the company doctor (for referral to the PH scheme) who was even more helpful - he actually did some tests on my knee which the others didn't. "Nope, no ligament damage, it must be your cartilage again. There's not a lot we can do. By the way, stop using the crutches!"

 Sooo, three medics, three different opinions.

 I went to the physio today. "I'm fairly sure you have ITBS. All I need to do is to release pressure here" ("ouch") "and here" ("F**k, ouch") "and here" ("Jeez! OUCH") "and then strap you up like this with ultra-tape that takes the pressure off your knee".

 "Oooh, that feels much better. Will that fix it?"

"Hope so, if not, we'll just cut your knee off and replace it."

 I'm still not sure if she was joking.

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