Do Trains have Windows?
I went to London for a meeting this week. This is not unremarkable, except that I had completely forgotten about it and went into the office instead. It was only when I started reading my emails and read one from my boss that said "...we will discuss with the client at Monday's 10:00am meeting with Jim from Glasgow..." that I knew the next few hours would be interesting to say the least, mostly because I was wearing all my safety gear (PPE) required at my place of work and a fluorescent jacket - I certainly didn't have time to go home and change into my suit.
I got a lift to the station and missed the Cannon Street train by seconds. The next one in was the High Speed one to St Pancras. I got a return ticket, got on the train and wondered how to explain the fact that I was going to be unfashionably late and still wearing PPE.
I was exactly and hour late, however the client never batted and eyelid - "Don't worry, welcome to London, the trains are always awful, Wow! Nice jacket!". Got away with that then.
After the meeting, I found my way back to HS1 after advice from a bloke at Cannon Street. "It will be quicker to get the tube back to St Pancras and get the high-speed, rather than to change twice on the way back!". "Even though the train for Kent is leaving right now?". "Yes". "Oh, OK".
I got on the HS train and waited for the off, also musing whether it was good use of company money to fly a colleague in from Glasgow just for a two hour meeting.
What happened next was totally surreal. It was like a script from "The IT Crowd" - you know, the one where the Irish guy answers the phone, "Hullo, noo, yes, err, have ye troyed terning it off an' on agin?"
*bing bong*
"Hello, this is your driver speaking. We are experiencing a slight delay due to a fault on the train. We will be getting away shortly."
(a few minutes pause)
"This is you driver speaking, in order to fix the fault, we are now going to reboot the train."
What? Reboot it? Are they going to turn it off and on again like you have to sometimes when your PC hangs?
Yes, they are. All power to the train went off, the air conditioning stopped, all those weird whiny motor noises stopped, all the lights went off and there was total silence except for the emergency lights pinging on.
There was a pause and the whole sequence reversed. Even the overhead signs briefly displayed "24.100.2222. Hitachi V.1.2" before the more familiar "www.southeasternrailway.co.uk"
I spent the 150mph journey home hoping and praying that Microsoft hadn't programmed the braking system.
I got a lift to the station and missed the Cannon Street train by seconds. The next one in was the High Speed one to St Pancras. I got a return ticket, got on the train and wondered how to explain the fact that I was going to be unfashionably late and still wearing PPE.
I was exactly and hour late, however the client never batted and eyelid - "Don't worry, welcome to London, the trains are always awful, Wow! Nice jacket!". Got away with that then.
After the meeting, I found my way back to HS1 after advice from a bloke at Cannon Street. "It will be quicker to get the tube back to St Pancras and get the high-speed, rather than to change twice on the way back!". "Even though the train for Kent is leaving right now?". "Yes". "Oh, OK".
I got on the HS train and waited for the off, also musing whether it was good use of company money to fly a colleague in from Glasgow just for a two hour meeting.
What happened next was totally surreal. It was like a script from "The IT Crowd" - you know, the one where the Irish guy answers the phone, "Hullo, noo, yes, err, have ye troyed terning it off an' on agin?"
*bing bong*
"Hello, this is your driver speaking. We are experiencing a slight delay due to a fault on the train. We will be getting away shortly."
(a few minutes pause)
"This is you driver speaking, in order to fix the fault, we are now going to reboot the train."
What? Reboot it? Are they going to turn it off and on again like you have to sometimes when your PC hangs?
Yes, they are. All power to the train went off, the air conditioning stopped, all those weird whiny motor noises stopped, all the lights went off and there was total silence except for the emergency lights pinging on.
There was a pause and the whole sequence reversed. Even the overhead signs briefly displayed "24.100.2222. Hitachi V.1.2" before the more familiar "www.southeasternrailway.co.uk"
I spent the 150mph journey home hoping and praying that Microsoft hadn't programmed the braking system.
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