Is it the car, or me?

The other day I was driving to work and noticed a small white van about 5 feet off my stern. I wasn't in a particular hurry but, as you do, gave the Brabus a quick blip to put a few more yards between him and my exhaust - I quickly caught up the bloke in front. In typical style, Small White Van Man nailed it to catch up. The bloke in front slows for the roundabout, I lift off and SWVM nearly collects the back of me. I take the first exit and SWVM disappears past McDonald's with his hand out of the window shouting "WANKER!!!". He was good at it - I think he must practice that a lot.

Yesterday I was driving (my wife said 'posing') down the sea front and was doing 15 - 20mph 'cos the speed humps are so large that most of them catch the turbo radiator intake if you hit 'em too hard. They're really close together - by the time the smart's dropped into 2nd it's time to brake for the next one. They're designed to stop the Boy Racers annoying the locals. Again, there was a small van right up my chuff. This time it was a Blue Renault Kangoo driven by someone even older than me. He followed me all the way up the esplanade. I spotted a parking spot, indicated right and flicked over into it.

All I heard was "WANKER.....(oof)!!!!!" as Kangoo blasted up the road and promptly took off on the next bump.

I worried about these incidents somewhat.

This morning my colleague came into the office - he too, has a Brabus roadie. "D'you know, some blond tart in a black Fiesta has just called me a wanker! All I was doing was driving down the motorway..."

It'll be the car then.

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