Sharp as a knife

This isn't funny, but. My big beef is that people (i.e. my family) use kitchen knives and never sharpen 'em. So when it's my turn to do some cooking, I end up having to sharpen them all - properly - before I can carry on, otherwise I end up simply squashing carrots & broccoli into pieces and making soup instead of side-dishes.

I sharpened them again, and because I had some time, I used the oilstone to get that marvellous Bate's Hotel honed finish...

My wife cut herself. Not badly - only a small plaster required - but enough to elicit some interesting expletives. I got yelled at. "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE THEM THAT SHARP?!". Now this brought up an interesting concept - to me that implied she was intending to cut herself anyway...

"How sharp do you want the knife dear?"
"Oh, fairly blunt please, I only feel like a small scratch today, thanks."