The Great Escape

Dear Diary,

Sunday
Went to London for a course. Booked into the Royal National Hotel - seems like a nice place, staff are friendly but mildly incompetent. They took my money in advance for four nights and then decided the "office was closed" and promptly reversed the transaction. I had to pay over at the Concierge desk. Got three receipts.

Room is small but seems nice & clean.

Monday
Get up at 7:00. Woken by sounds of traffic and large motorbikes (even at seven stories up). Go into shower - ceiling still has stains of cigarette smoke on ceiling. One bar of soap and two towels. Go to breakfast early; guard at restaurant lets me in when I show my pass. Fried eggs can sole my shoes; bacon resembles leather.

Go for a walk in the evening - feel distinctly scared. Decide to surf the net in my room instead - room has no Wi-Fi. Go to bed early.

Tuesday
Get up slightly later. Woken by herds of tourists rushing down the stairs. Go to breakfast; Filipino soldier lets me in after frisking me. Queues at "English Breakfast" counter go back to door. Decide on scrambled eggs instead; bacon has matured somewhat; coffee is actually tea and vice-versa - someone has swapped the signs on the urns. Apparently tea & coffee aren't drunk in the Philippines.

Evening - manage to escape passed the guards and watch Arsenal beat Villarreal one all.

Wednesday.
Get up slightly earlier. Woken by urge to pee and T35 rumbling by - did I mention that the match was shown in a pub? Go to breakfast; Orange juice is orange in colour but the resemblance ends there. Bacon mildly edible - or has my jaw just got stronger? Decide to have coffee in the course centre instead.

Evening - find that wi-fi is only available in the lobby under the watchful eye of Big Brother. Attempt to purchase a "cherished number" from the DVLA. Decide not to enter credit card details in over their network. Lobby full of prisoners entering the transit camp. No one seems to be leaving. Pack suitcase and plan morning escape.

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