Old Folks At Home
My Mom is 91, grew up in "The War" and now firmly believes that she's 23 and can do anything. She insists that she still goes up to town and down to the butcher's every week, whereas we all know that she hasn't been out since last July. My sister and I kept gently asking if "she needs any help" with the cooking, cleaning and, more importantly, remembering to take her tablets every day.
An important digression: UK Social Services will not get involved unless the involvee specifically requests them to help by signing an involvement document.
The conversation generally goes along the lines of:
"Mom, shall we ask if you need some help?"
"What! I don't need any help, I still go to town, what day is it? who are you?"
This is nearly the classic Catch 22 situation (look it up on Google...). How do you get someone to say they need help, when they genuinely don't believe that they do?
The answer presented itself over the New Year. To cut a long story short, she ended up in hospital with what turned out to be anaemia, and ended up getting 4 units of blood. This scared her somewhat (and us too, funnily enough) and my wife capitalised on the situation whilst waiting in A&E:
"Umm, perhaps you need some help cooking? That's why you're anaemic because you're not eating properly"
"Ok then"
Result.
Another digression: UK Hospitals won't let a patient out home if they think it's an "unsafe discharge".
So coupled with an "involvement form" signature and mutterings from us along the lines of "there's no-one at home to look after her" the SS turned up mob-handed and within 30 minutes the A-Team had put into place Meals-On-Wheels, Tablets-To-Go and You've-Got-A-Friend.
My wife simply asked me "Can you face Dad and say you did the best for Mom?"
Yes, I think so.
An important digression: UK Social Services will not get involved unless the involvee specifically requests them to help by signing an involvement document.
The conversation generally goes along the lines of:
"Mom, shall we ask if you need some help?"
"What! I don't need any help, I still go to town, what day is it? who are you?"
This is nearly the classic Catch 22 situation (look it up on Google...). How do you get someone to say they need help, when they genuinely don't believe that they do?
The answer presented itself over the New Year. To cut a long story short, she ended up in hospital with what turned out to be anaemia, and ended up getting 4 units of blood. This scared her somewhat (and us too, funnily enough) and my wife capitalised on the situation whilst waiting in A&E:
"Umm, perhaps you need some help cooking? That's why you're anaemic because you're not eating properly"
"Ok then"
Result.
Another digression: UK Hospitals won't let a patient out home if they think it's an "unsafe discharge".
So coupled with an "involvement form" signature and mutterings from us along the lines of "there's no-one at home to look after her" the SS turned up mob-handed and within 30 minutes the A-Team had put into place Meals-On-Wheels, Tablets-To-Go and You've-Got-A-Friend.
My wife simply asked me "Can you face Dad and say you did the best for Mom?"
Yes, I think so.
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