50+ and proud of it.

Bugger. Now I know why Rover went out of business:- "Hello dear, have you had a nice day? My car's making a funny noise" "That'll be the "K" series twin-cam blowing a head gasket then" "How much is the car worth?" "£600" "How much to fix it?" "£600.01" "Ah." For those interested people, put "Rover 416" into eBay and see how many come up with "...head gasket failed...". I also now know why people call their canines "Rover". BTW: Anyone know how to clean oil emulsion off a concrete driveway?

After an abortive start, DHL managed to pick up the laptop today. Phone call earlier today:- "'Ere Mr DHL, you haven't picked up my parcel" "Don't no nuffin about that mate - better ring InterParcel" (click) "Hello Interparcel DHL 'don't no nuffin'' about my parcel" "Yes they do, here's the tracking number sir - we'll sort it out" Very impressed with these InterParcel people I am. Also, got "the" phone call from the Estate Agent:- "You're property isn't attracting much attention, we really think you should consider reducing the price to £210k" "Is this the same £210k I suggested at the beginning of January?" "err, probably." (click)

Well, the laptop sold - except that a chap in Spain bought it. Not surprisingly, it cost more in postage than the original selling price. Now here's a thing to remember - if you print address labels on a bubble jet and take the package out in the snow the result is something like a Dali painting. Ok, I was ahead of that one and lightly wrapped the package in Clingfilm to protect the printing. "Mornin' Ian, can I leave this package here in the stores for the courier to pick up please?" "Crikey, that looks like something out of the canteen." "Yes, but this crust is probably softer." Also, eventually got in touch with the Estate Agents:- "Why didn't you say I had to bring in ID? Isn't that something to tell people when they first start off with you?" "Yes sir, I'll take that on board." "Eh? You agree with me?" "Yes" "Err ok then, how about popping four doors down the road to my solicitors and ge...

Good grief. We come back from shopping to find the situation of one cat sitting in her normal position on top of the sofa and the other fat thing in his normal position asleep with his head in the cat bowl. I sit down only to be growled at by the black and white one on the sofa. Unusual. To cut a long story short, she is walking with one back leg in the air, mewing and growling in obvious pain. Ring vet. "Hello, my cat is in obvious pain, can you take a look" "Yup, what the name?" "Bonnie" "No, your name" We exhange details, the parting shot being, "Certainly, that's £69 before we start, as it's a Sunday and we can take you to the cleaners because this is an emergency service." Ok, wife & her (visiting) sister whip the cat off to the vets whilst I pick up the daughter from her Sunday job. I get back and carry on with the dinner. Wife+sis come back with sis-in-law in tears. "Oh, s**t, we have to had the cat put down?...

Opens letter: "Under the Money Laundering Act May 2004 you are required to bring in ID just in case we think you've stolen your Aunt's house". Oh good. So you've known for 5 weeks that you're selling the house and when you got me to sign the contract mid Jan you "forgot" about this one. You want me to drive 200 miles to sign a piece of paper. No, I dont' think so. Lets see if this will work. "Ok, you pop next door to my solicitors and get them to "validate" me. After all, they've seen my ID when I picked up the will AND they've got the original probate. Then you can post me the document for me to sign." Oink. Flap. Oink. Flap. Oh yeah, the identical house next door is up for sale too at 20k less than mine. Did I mention they can't use email?

Hmm. Where has eBay gone? Just spent the last decade trying to put an ad onto eBay using "Turbo Lister" to find that I can get to the eBay home page and then nowhere else. The rest of the "web" seems just tickety-boo. Ok, did a quick scan to see if it's eBay or my ISP and find a rumour that E7even (my ISP, now E7broadband) is about to go T/U. Well, to be fair, the rumour said it was "in administration". Still, my ADSL connection works, my email works and my web site works - so far so good then. Rumour also says that Tiscali are taking over the e7 accounts - which Tiscali apparently know nothing about; Hmm, just like the place I work for. "Hello, Mr Right Hand, over here" "Who are you then?" Anyone want to buy a nice laptop?

After spending a few very frustrating hours trying to use FTP to get my web-site published I thought I'd show off a bit and link to my Crib game:- Crib1999.Zip . Simply click the link and unzip. You'll need the Visual Basic 5 runtime modules from here:- VB5 runtime modules . BTW: If you find your way to my web-site, don't hold your breath.

Whey hey! 364 hits for the house on the website and 11 requests for details. OK, so the Agent's average is 469 & 16, but it's start. (BTW: 10 of those hits are mine...) "If we've had no viewings in the next fortnight, then maybe we should consider reducing the price." Hang on, it was you who put the price so damn high in the first place and now you're making it out like it my fault... "Please can you email me those stats?" "Sorry, we don't have the facility to do that here." "Eh?" Did I mention I was a programmer?

...Ok, sell the house, split the cash between the legacees and Bob's your Aunty - were it that simple? Nope. Get the solicitor who holds the deeds to act for you for conveyancing - that's easy. Find an agent to sell the house - easy too. Find a buyer? - ha. "Don't worry sir, houses in this exclusive area sell like hot cakes. They only come onto the market through probate or nursing homes..." "Ok," I says, "price it at £210k then for a quick sale" "Oh no sir, we'll price it at £25k above next door so we can screw you for a much commission as we can" "How do you work that out then?" "If it's too low, people will think that there's something wrong with it." Good grief, I'm glad I'm a programmer.

My good friend goes into hospital tomorrow for major surgery. I wish her & her husband all the best. http://www.warpedwoman.blogspot.com/

One of the forms you may want to complete is a cut-down version of a tax return. This allows you to get a refund of any income tax that may have been overpaid. Give the IR a ring or have a look on their website for the form. My Aunt was extremely organised - she dutifully did her normal tax returns. I guess that if this isn't the case you would have to sort all that out...

Once you have probate, go and open an "executors account" at the bank. This is because any monies paid from closed accounts will generally be payable to "Mr (name) executor for (deceased)". Not all institutions do this - the National Savings paid me directly because "the amount was below £5,000". A separate account is very useful anyway as it's easier to distribute the estate to the legacees - and prove that it's been done correctly. From my Aunt's demise on Rememberance Sunday 2005 to me receiving probate on Christmas Eve is of course much shorter than the solicitor's "oh, it'll take at least 6 months"! Not that I'm cynical you understand, but do the solicitors sell the house etc and pocket £1/4m that sits gathering interest in their accounts? Surely not.

OK. Getting probate*. Get/find the will - it's either with the solicitor or hidden in a cupboard/under the mattress. Then you should identify ALL sources of savings/income - current balances of bank accounts, savings and the like. You also get the house valued. This will give you a value to declare on the probate form. To get the valuation of accounts, you will need to prove who you are and that you are the exector stated in the will... ...find an up-to-date utility bill of YOURS (you need this to prove who you are) and any other forms of identity as required. Get the leaflet on this from a solicitor and ring the Law Society to get the necessary forms. If the estate isn't going to exceed the current level of inheritance tax then it's all straightforward. Fill out the forms, send them off to your local Law Courts with the appropriate fee (about £90 in Dec 2005) and wait for the interview. On the day of the interview, take your identity documents to the ...

I've been think about blogging for a while now, in fact since last November when my Aunt passed away and left me as executor of her will. I thought that getting stuff down may help anyone else who has to go through the same task. (BTW: I'm writing this from the perspective of someone who has to abide by British law and has to apply for probate). Something to do now if you haven't done so - make a will. It makes life incredibly difficult for others if you don't. I chose to go for probate myself. To quote the solictor who held the will "it's intellectually stimulating". Actually he was trying to put me off - when the estate is in reasonable order and straightforward it's not difficult. He was just trying to get his fee of about £2,000 for doing not much! It can be time consuming...