50+ and proud of it.

The correct way:- Turn phone off. Remove little screws. Use sucker to remove screen. Remove LCD. Replace Home Button + circuit. Put back together. My way:- Break car windscreen with log. Get quote from High Street shop because I've been moaned at by wife for being careless with car and "with your luck you'll break the phone". Quote: £20. Buy bits from eBay - £3. Turn phone off. Remove screen. Prise out LCD with tools provided and crack LCD making it almost impossible to use. Buy new screen & LCD off eBay - £22. Replace the lot, turn on - screen doesn't work. Take out new screen. Alarm goes off on phone about a meeting and can't turn off alarm because there's no screen in it. Press little button on side to snooze alarm. Replace old screen in case new one is duff - old screen doesn't work now either. Alarm goes off again. Try new screen again - doesn't work. Alarm goes off again. Phone working but with no screen. Have sev...

I'm quite a fan of Internet banking until now. I have recently opened an account with "another bank" for my mothers affairs. I needed to setup a "payee" (a special banking word for "a person") ready for things called "transactions" (another special word for "moving cash"). All I wanted to do was to pay £90 to someone. Or, "transact £90 to the payee" in the modern idiom. Username - easy Password - um, bugger forgot. Find piece of paper, no, not that one. Blast, where did I put it? Oh, I know, I put it in a file. Find file, open file, read password. Enter password - " Your session has expired, please login again ". "What! I haven't bloody well logged in yet! Wha'you mean? Click " Online banking login " again. Username - yup Password - MyDogHasaLongNeck (Well, it is online banking isn't it?) " We're sorry, your details don't match " Username - yup (again) ...

The correct way to have a bike ride to the pub:- Get on bikes; cycle to a pub; get off bikes; have a drink; get on bikes; cycle back. The incorrect way to have a bike ride to the pub:- Get on bikes; cycle to nearest pub; get off bikes and padlock to lamppost; have a drink; try to unlock padlock... "Hurry up dear, let's get back before it gets dark." "I can't, the padlock's jammed." "Bugger." I asked the pub bar-girl on the off-chance that the pub might happen to have an angle-grinder laying about. No, thought not. We went outside to ponder the situation. I thought about getting a taxi back home and getting the Astra plus my angle-grinder when two "proper" cyclists arrived. "Hello, having troubles?" "Yes", replied the wife, "have you got an angle-grinder in your pocket ( or are you just pleased to see me? Gosh, they're fit )?" "Let's have a look..." They proceeded to...

Here is a snip from an "instant messaging" conversation I had today with a colleague: (1:09 PM) PN: we having some work done but on the under lying servers but I think they're custered (?) so we will not see any difference (could be typing utter cr£p  here) (1:13 PM) PTV: custard = a yellow thixotropic powder, clustered = a method of joining servers. (1:13 PM) PN: dohh  Boom, Boom. Tomorrow, how not to have a bike ride. 

What did you do last Saturday? Oh, not much just built a shed. Oh, and drove a Lamborghini Gallardo. (Oookaay... this video seems only to work if you use iExplore ;-( ) "And the pilot simply said "yup" and walked away" ...what else could a Man want?

Bear in mind that I'm a developer with a VB.NET development environment (Visual Studio) loaded onto my PC. I had previously created an "Invoice Import" program using .NET, and because I was having problems with "Click-Once" deployment, I decided (in frustration) to simply put the .EXE file on the server and get my customer to execute it from there. She got the dreaded CLR20r3 error:     I didn't get this error at first - the program ran just fine - which was confusing to say the least. I guessed that it was because I had VS installed. Wrong. I re-booted my PC and lo-and-behold, I got the error too. I Googled for this error for ages and there was no definitive answer. A lot of entries pointed to "missing file or DLL". But which one? The answer was remarkably simple in my case. I simply chose "Debug the program" and selected "my" VS version (2005): The next box to appear is the "real" error: ...