Internet Banking...

I'm quite a fan of Internet banking until now.

I have recently opened an account with "another bank" for my mothers affairs. I needed to setup a "payee" (a special banking word for "a person") ready for things called "transactions" (another special word for "moving cash").

All I wanted to do was to pay £90 to someone. Or, "transact £90 to the payee" in the modern idiom.

Username - easy
Password - um, bugger forgot. Find piece of paper, no, not that one. Blast, where did I put it? Oh, I know, I put it in a file. Find file, open file, read password.
Enter password - "Your session has expired, please login again". "What! I haven't bloody well logged in yet! Wha'you mean?

Click "Online banking login" again.

 Username - yup
Password - MyDogHasaLongNeck (Well, it is online banking isn't it?)
"We're sorry, your details don't match"
Username - yup (again)
Password - MyDogHasALongNeck

Excellent. We're in.

Setup new payee. Enter details (got them right first time).

 Next, Please enter the following four digit number - 1680

Where? there's no damn entry text box, and why that little spinny thing still there?

I read on - Which phone number shall we call you on? My wife was on the home phone and my mobile was downstairs. I ran down stairs, found the mobile, ran back upstairs and clicked the mobile option.

Sorry, your session has timed out. Repeat the above...

My mobile rang. Please say the code on the screen...

Ok, "ONE", "SI..." ...and speak clearly... "X" "EIG..." ...Sorry, that is not the correct number, try again. 

"ONE" "SIX" "EIGHT", "ZERO"

The phone went dead and the spinny thing stopped.

Congratulations, you have setup a new payee. What did you want to do?

Pay someone you twat...

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