I think I won that one.
*ring* *ring*
(Thick Asian accent)
"Hello, it ees World Wide Web Services here, your computer 'as been infected by some malware."
"Oh right(!)"
"We need to fix the problem. Are you OK with that?"
"Yes of course(!), Will it cost me anything?"
"No, no this is a perfectly free service. Are you sitting at your computer?"
"Yes, of course I am." (I really was).
"You liar!"
*click*
Jeez, didn't expect that.
1 minute later. *ring* *ring*
(same bloke I think, same accent anyway)
"Are you sitting by your computer?", "Yes, I am.", "Are you sure?", "Yes, I have a mobile phone", "Right, please left click the start button, this will not cost you anything", "Where's that?", "At the bottom left, have you done that?", "Yes", "What do you see?", "Properties", "What?", "It just says Properties and nothing else", (pause) "Please hold the line."
"Hello, this is Edward here."
"What? Edward? that's not a very Pakistani name!"
"No, I am Asian!"
"Oh right(!)"
"Please click the Start button and click the 'Run' command."
"I don't have a Run command, it's been disabled by Group Policy by my company."
"OK, type Windows R"
"Right done that."
"Enter MSDIPC" (or something, I didn't catch it) "...that is the Windows Config Program."
"Can't do that, disabled by Group Policy."
"Can you get to the internet?"
"Nope, disabled by Group Policy too."
At that point, alarm bells should have rung for the chap. If I can't get to the internet, how can I be infected and how can they spot me?
Anyhow, this carries on for a bit, including me asking him what my IP address was and anything else I could think of to maybe give the twat a clue that I actually knew what I was doing.
I looked at the phone. 4 minutes, 52 seconds.
"Tell you what mate. I've held you here for 5 minutes and taken the piss, so you can't annoy anyone else in the meantime. I've got your name, phone number and IP address of your main server. I work for IBM."
*click*
(Thick Asian accent)
"Hello, it ees World Wide Web Services here, your computer 'as been infected by some malware."
"Oh right(!)"
"We need to fix the problem. Are you OK with that?"
"Yes of course(!), Will it cost me anything?"
"No, no this is a perfectly free service. Are you sitting at your computer?"
"Yes, of course I am." (I really was).
"You liar!"
*click*
Jeez, didn't expect that.
1 minute later. *ring* *ring*
(same bloke I think, same accent anyway)
"Are you sitting by your computer?", "Yes, I am.", "Are you sure?", "Yes, I have a mobile phone", "Right, please left click the start button, this will not cost you anything", "Where's that?", "At the bottom left, have you done that?", "Yes", "What do you see?", "Properties", "What?", "It just says Properties and nothing else", (pause) "Please hold the line."
"Hello, this is Edward here."
"What? Edward? that's not a very Pakistani name!"
"No, I am Asian!"
"Oh right(!)"
"Please click the Start button and click the 'Run' command."
"I don't have a Run command, it's been disabled by Group Policy by my company."
"OK, type Windows R"
"Right done that."
"Enter MSDIPC" (or something, I didn't catch it) "...that is the Windows Config Program."
"Can't do that, disabled by Group Policy."
"Can you get to the internet?"
"Nope, disabled by Group Policy too."
At that point, alarm bells should have rung for the chap. If I can't get to the internet, how can I be infected and how can they spot me?
Anyhow, this carries on for a bit, including me asking him what my IP address was and anything else I could think of to maybe give the twat a clue that I actually knew what I was doing.
I looked at the phone. 4 minutes, 52 seconds.
"Tell you what mate. I've held you here for 5 minutes and taken the piss, so you can't annoy anyone else in the meantime. I've got your name, phone number and IP address of your main server. I work for IBM."
*click*
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