Boll*x, f*****g boll*x...

We were coming back from a nice barbecue the other evening with my wife's family when I kept hearing a slightly different tone from the rear/exhaust of my smart roadster. It sounded a bit more "barky" than usual, and so, armed with a 13mm spanner and a cup of tea I decided to take a look the next morning.

How hard can it be to take off half a dozen nuts and bolts?

To cut two hours into a couple of sentences goes like this:
  1. Undo all nuts. Pull.
  2. Find O2 sensor still connected by cunningly hidden cable.
  3. Manage to disconnect sensor plug - 20kgs exhaust drops onto chest.
  4. Swear a lot, finish cold tea. Go get another cup.
  5. Tighten a few things but can't find obvious problem.
  6. Check exhaust nuts are free running on studs.
  7. They're not.
  8. Screw nut onto stud to free it up a bit.
  9. Nut get stuck and strips thread.
  10. Undo nut, nut removes most of the thread on the stud, iron filings drop into eye.
  11. (see 4)
  12. Use proper Britool stud extractor to remove stud.
  13. Stud snaps inside the friggin' turbo housing:

Oh, and you can't get a drill in there without removing the Watts Linkage suspension arms which are micro-adjustable and control the rear track of the car.

I know when I'm beat.

Comments

Pip said…
I can just hear what HLW said too....
1:38 pm
Pete the Van said…
You are sooooo right....
6:45 pm
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"The delivery extension for this subscription could not be loaded" when using SSRS

Image
OK, so we upgraded our server farm and put on the latest "stuff" (SSRS, SQL Server etc.) and the engineers gave me two servers to play with - SQL01 & SQL02. The idea being that we used high availability to help keep the factory running. We employed a contractor to load up and configure everything. At this point I wasn't involved. My involvement was to move all the reports and subscriptions from the old servers to the new ones once the servers had been configured. All went swimmingly, until I actually started to fire off the subscriptions to test them. Randomly (like 5 out of 10) I got the error in the title. I would edit the failing subscription and/or change the schedule time and it would work. I finally got around to moving 81 subscriptions for the same report (all slightly different parameters going to about 6 different engineers). I press the "go" button and every single one failed. Let's cut out the long story about how I went through about...
Read more

Oooh, look, an Eagle...

Image
The Scottish Holiday . After the trauma of the Astra-breakdown episode and the gutless hirecar, we'd recovered sufficiently to begin to enjoy the rest of our holiday with our friends at the Castle... Chapter Seven: One of the things my wife really wanted to see was a seal, or seals if she was really lucky. So we decided to take a day out and around the Mull Of Kintyre. We stopped at "St Columba's Footprints" and carefully studied the jumbled collection of rocks and seaweed. "No seals there dear, let's carry on" "Oh, alright then, never mind. But that's where we were told they are most likely to be." We drove on and took a gated road signposted " To The Lighthouse ". This took us right up into the hills. As we were driving slowly along admiring the view, my wife whispered quietly... " Ooh, look an Eagle! " "Stop that, that's not funny." "No, really. Stop the car." ...
Read more

What else could possibly go wrong?

So. I got the new radiator hoses from Vauxhall at a stupid £45 for the two and fitted them the weekend before we were due to go away on our Touring-Trip-Of-Scotland. I used this as an excuse to get out of helping with my sister-in-law's 50th birthday party. "But, I need to make sure the car is OK for next week dear!" "OK, I'll take the smart, and woe betide you if you're late for the party!" The Astra is now in bits and has no water in it. It is 6 minutes to 12 o'clock on a Saturday morning. I know this. For some bizarre reason, I decided to test the tightness of the -ve battery terminal by gently shaking the clamp. It was loose. "Ah, I wonder if this is the cause of it cutting out last week?" I took a 10mm spanner and gently tweaked up the bolt. The lead post (as in led, not leed) offered no resistance and gracefully detached itself in its entirety from the battery, the terminal now firmly bolted to the -ve lead (as in le...
Read more