An oldie, but a goodie.

Following on from my bizarre fascination with psychic octopuses, I remember talking to a guy who had a very talented octopus in a tank in his front room. He explained that the octopus could play any musical instrument he chose to give it.

Naturally, I had to see that.

He put the octopus on the table and gave it a violin, with which it played Bach's Violin Concerto in E Major note perfect.

He then gave it a bugle and it played Reveille with gusto.

I thought, "I'll fox him", and I went to fetch my bagpipes from the car. The octopus looked at them and started to struggle madly with the instrument, not playing a note.

"There you go", I said "I knew he couldn't play everything!"

"Play?", said the octopus, "Once I get its damn pyjamas off, I'm going to shag it..."


Bagpipes with legs in air...

boom, boom, I, er, thank you.

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