50+ and proud of it.

You shouldn't laugh but... Day Two and we took the guided tour of a few Churches, a synagogue and a mosque. You have to remember that this is the very end of Ramadan but devout Muslims still cannot eat or drink during the daylight hours of 6am to 6pm. We visited the Ben-Ezra synagogue... ... and the chaplet (sic) of St George (and the dragon)... ...and by now we're close to lunchtime, and hungry. "Is there anywhere we can get some food?" my wife enquired. "Yes", our guide replied, "the nearest is the KFC, we'll take you there. However, we cannot park outside, you must eat the food in the minibus while we drive." One quick visit and we're off into the manic traffic again. We were all merrily scoffing KFC down our necks when I was suddenly very aware that all the people in cars around us were staring at us through the windows. It suddenly dawned on me. "Ooops, this is Ramadan, these poor people aren't allowed to eat at all!". We...

For her 50th birthday present my wife conned me into booking a Nile Cruise with 3 days in Cairo with our friends Mrs "H" & Mr "K". On the first day we decided to "do" the Pyramids. I learnt a few things: Egypt is hot. Very hot. The sand is even hotter. Everyone wants a tip (baksheesh), especially if you look at them. This is why tourists always look at their feet or talk to the person to them even if they've never met them before. The inside of a pyramid has no air. Fat American Tourists have small lungs. Never take pictures of men in long robes. See "tip". Never, ever take pictures of men with AK47's. See "tip" as well. Men with AK47's can demand as large a tip as they please. Having run the gauntlet of pestering Egyptians selling small pyramids (or Pyramid Salesmen as my wife pointed out) we made it off the Giza Plateau and back to the hotel. We decided to go to the Cairo Hard Rock Cafe for dinner and duly ha...

We went to the smart festival yesterday. I almost threw away the invite - well, you do don't you? Something shiny drops through your door with "You have been invited..." written on it, you think "Oh, 'eck another bloody scam..." Anyway, I registered by pure chance - I rang up the FreeFone number to "...get more information..." and ended up being told that "...if I didn't register, I wouldn't be eligible for my free bacon sandwich" at the Merc dealer from where we were going to start. Already I had slight misgivings. This was the smart festival, not the smart roadster festival. "Going up together" meant "going up in convoy ". I'd done this before with the Yanks - '55 Cadillacs only do about 50 flat out, we used to do about 45. smart 600cc ForTwo's ain't that quick. Sure enough, we ended up going down the M26 at *precisely* 40 mph - much to the annoyance of foreign lorry drivers who just had to ...