50+ and proud of it.

So, it was GCSE "results day" yesterday - the 3rd and last one for us. When #1 son did his, we had to bribe him (with cash) in order for him to take the remotest interest in work whatsoever. It cost me £70 and we were very proud of him. Unfortunately for us, smart cookie #2 girl remembered this, "Well," she said haughtily, "you have to treat us all the same!". It cost me £180. #3 son bought a BMX bike at the start of the summer with his own money and we 'subbed' him the rest in a strange belief that he would get good grades... Yesterday cost me £220 - 4x"A", 4x"B", 2x"C" and an "E". I send him a text - "I owe you £220, you owe me £121 for your bike. And, you owe me £100 for the "E". So that's a pound you owe me ... ha ha ha" (Note to the shocked: I send him another 30 seconds later - "Well done, terrific!") He sent a text back - "And just what did you and mum get for you...

The other day I was driving to work and noticed a small white van about 5 feet off my stern. I wasn't in a particular hurry but, as you do, gave the Brabus a quick blip to put a few more yards between him and my exhaust - I quickly caught up the bloke in front. In typical style, Small White Van Man nailed it to catch up. The bloke in front slows for the roundabout, I lift off and SWVM nearly collects the back of me. I take the first exit and SWVM disappears past McDonald's with his hand out of the window shouting "WANKER!!!". He was good at it - I think he must practice that a lot. Yesterday I was driving (my wife said 'posing') down the sea front and was doing 15 - 20mph 'cos the speed humps are so large that most of them catch the turbo radiator intake if you hit 'em too hard. They're really close together - by the time the smart's dropped into 2nd it's time to brake for the next one. They're designed to stop the Boy Racers annoying t...