50+ and proud of it.

20 budgies packed up in a crate and taken to Budgie Heaven - well, somewhere else anyway. "Thank God they're gone, I was contemplating suicide" "There's no need for that, why should you want to do that?" "No, not mine, hers." I had run a whole bunch of "Tweet-away" scenarios. Including a small explosive device positioned approximately 3 feet from ground level with its blast pattern due west. I must admit to not having completely run that one through all possible conclusions... If Anti-Terrorist-Branch Then ' Nope - not sure what to do here End If (Note, no budgies have been harmed in the making of this blog)

After a long conversation about dead parents and bad moods, my neighbour (with the budgies) asked if it would be alright to remove 20 budgies and leave just 6 in her aviary. 26 budgies in a cage the size of a small wardrobe! No bloody wonder the poor buggers are fighting for perch space all the time. We'll just see how it goes - hopefully they'll settle down to a nice gentle chiruppy pace of life. Ok. Different subject. We tried giving away a nice dining room table and chairs over the weekend to the British Heart Foundation. "Hi, wanna a nice table?" "Got any chairs with it?" "Yup" "Upholstered?" "Yup" "No then. We can't accept stuff that not British Standard Fire Tested." "Ok, we'll go and take it down the tip for landfill then..."

For the past four years I have been plagued by my neighbours aviary which is full of budgies. It's approx 7 feet at the nearest distance to my house, and about 15 feet from my bedroom. During waking hours the little ****** squawk and fight and generally drive me insane. So much so, that we can't use our patio anymore because of the noise - and we can't keep any windows open during the summer 'cos they wake us up at dawn. I finally plucked up courage and told her that I was unhappy about this. "Well your son wakes me up when he comes in at night." "Sorry that my teenager has got a job and car - perhaps he should sign on the dole and you can support him?" Do my children keep you p***** off during daylight hours, day in day out, 24/7? No. So f*** off then. Gad I feel better for that.

I actually got a phone call yesterday about the bungalow. Not much, but interest nonetheless. More good news - the water company volunteered to refund the water charges from November 2005 on the grounds that the property was empty from then.

Sometimes you have a nagging feeling that you're forgetting something. Mine was last night about the tax on the Mustang. Yup, DVLA says it ran out at the end of March. Okey dokey, go to "Tax Vehicle Online" and armed with logbook, MOT and credit card I enter the 97 digits required (slight exaggeration to prove point). "Ah ha" it says, you can't do this here - go to the Post Office. No, I'll ring up instead - 10 minutes and 66 menu levels later I get through to a very nice advisor who explains that due to "The Budget" change most of the vehicle records are in the process of being updated - go to the Post Office instead she says. "But how will they know how much to charge? If I can't tax it via you guys, the local Post Office has got no chance!" "Oh no, their computers are updated the day after the Budget..."