50+ and proud of it.

We went to a local Stately Home last Sunday to view the rhododendrons, which allegedly were "just right" according to my wife. It was raining slightly, but got told to "Shut up and get on with it" and, "Here's your cagoule". The entrance is not very far from the car park and we walked to the little hut (aka garden shed with a door) where the man behind the desk was busily engaged in conversation about the house and the grounds with a (possibly) retired lady . After about five minutes of us standing there in the rain with no sign of the conversation ending - which had now moved onto the price of fish during the war - I thought I'd chivvy things on a bit with a jovial "Come on mate, stop talking and do yer job!". Fortunately both the lady and the concierge took this in the spirit it was meant and she thanked him and left. He turned to us and launched off imparting the same information he'd just given to the lady and probably a tho...

*ring* *ring* (Thick Asian accent) "Hello, it ees World Wide Web Services here, your computer 'as been infected by some malware." "Oh right(!)" "We need to fix the problem. Are you OK with that?" "Yes of course(!), Will it cost me anything?" "No, no this is a perfectly free service. Are you sitting at your computer?" "Yes, of course I am." (I really was). "You liar!"  *click* Jeez, didn't expect that. 1 minute later. *ring* *ring* (same bloke I think, same accent anyway) "Are you sitting by your computer?", "Yes, I am.", "Are you sure?", "Yes, I have a mobile phone", "Right, please left click the start button, this will not cost you anything", "Where's that?", "At the bottom left, have you done that?", "Yes", "What do you see?", "Properties", "What?", "It just says Properties...