How to have a bike ride.
The correct way to have a bike ride to the pub:- Get on bikes; cycle to a pub; get off bikes; have a drink; get on bikes; cycle back. The incorrect way to have a bike ride to the pub:- Get on bikes; cycle to nearest pub; get off bikes and padlock to lamppost; have a drink; try to unlock padlock... "Hurry up dear, let's get back before it gets dark." "I can't, the padlock's jammed." "Bugger." I asked the pub bar-girl on the off-chance that the pub might happen to have an angle-grinder laying about. No, thought not. We went outside to ponder the situation. I thought about getting a taxi back home and getting the Astra plus my angle-grinder when two "proper" cyclists arrived. "Hello, having troubles?" "Yes", replied the wife, "have you got an angle-grinder in your pocket ( or are you just pleased to see me? Gosh, they're fit )?" "Let's have a look..." They proceeded to...