Wet suit, Law suit

Well, not quite as I shall explain. The wet suit thing came about because I foolishly said "yeah, I'll help you crew your catamaran sometime" to a friend of mine. That time came last weekend and I found out that it was a 2 day event of six races off the coast of the Isle of Sheppey for Dart 18's and not a gentle trip across the bay as I'd been led to believe.

Saturday was fine. Light winds (or "airs" as it's known in the trade) and lovely sunshine. I asked my friend what his plan was for the day.

"I'd be happy to come last, I enjoy sailing"

Mine was not to drown.

We came 17th overall (out of 34) and in the second race came 10th. Not bad for an amateur.

Sunday however, was different. At the start of the first race (in fact in all races - apparently) we're all milling around the start line with various people shouting "up!, UP!, UP!" and "no water!, NO WATER!" - which is sailing speak for "fuck off, you're in my way". Someone tapped us lightly up the arse (or stern as it's known).

"Protest 7491!1"

"Oh, ignore him, he just wants to win", said the Captain. (And we don't?)

Due to over excitement and choppy seas, I threw up later on. This was nothing to do with the previous nights beer+curry in the sailing club, honestly. We retired "due to ill health" and were informed later that the protest would have been upheld and we'd be disqualified anyway.

Here endeth the first sailing lesson.

1Not our real sail number.

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