How to spend Monday

"Let's visit Grandma!"

Yeah, great plan. Grab some fuel, turn south onto the A249 at 10:01am and off we jolly well stop. Like, really stop. Turn off engine, stare at the Nissan in front and wait. Time passes and so do four Police patrol cars, three fire engines and eventually the Kent Air Ambulance. After 1½ hours I go for a walk and drag the life story out of anyone stupid enough to have their window down.

More time passes and I notice that the Old Bill are turning people around in an orderly fashion and sending them back up (and off) onto the A2 on-slip. A lot more people notice too. I remarked to the Nissan driver who'd just missed his hospital appointment in Maidstone - "I think I'll wait until I'm told...", "seems like a plan", he said.

At 11:57am a bloke *way* in front decided he couldn't wait and spun it round into the gap left for Fire Engines - and Police Cars - and proceeded to drive northwards towards on-coming, although stationary, southbound traffic.

At 11:57am and a ¼, the Police had stopped turning people around and opened up the southbound carriageway...

Turkey-shoot and fish-in-barrel spring to mind.
PS. We abandoned the Grandma trip. I fixed my daughter's windscreen washer instead.

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